Spring has sprung, and all those who witness it are eternally grateful. Except polar bears. But I digress.
Anyway, yesterday was such a nice day that I made the fatal mistake of exercising my rusty —*cough cough* nonexistent—outdoors-man skills. This generally entails stepping one toe outside the door, swatting at the bugs, and hopping back inside to curl up somewhere and waste time. I am not an outdoor person. I’m sorry.
But I was feeling ambitious yesterday. I grabbed that huge chunk of metal (or plastic, or whatever it’s made of) that most people refer to as a camera, but I call “You cost as much as a baby elephant”. That thing. For the most part, I’m too lazy to ever get beyond taking pictures of my cat’s snotty nose, but on that day (yesterday), I felt a heroic, photographer-ish feeling well inside my heart. I set out to take pictures of pretty things.
Ahem. Yes. Anyway.
Once outside, I found this cool vine thingy growing up the side of a tree, and proceeded to get the best picture I think I’ve taken in my entire life. The subject was in focus, but the background was still satisfyingly blurry. And for once in my life, I’d actually gotten the aperture correct, so I didn’t have one leaf in focus and the other not. I was extremely pleased. Having thoroughly congratulated myself, I looked at the plant.
That be poison-ivy.
This was a little deflating, but I persevered. Here’s some more specimens of my horrendous work.
Random weed. There’s this rule in photography that says you shouldn’t place the subject directly in the middle of the picture. I fail at that one. A lot.
Random dead tree, because we all need one of those in our lives.
It really wasn’t cloudy. But my vast photography knowledge can’t figure out how to keep the sky from getting all blown out.
Is this not cool?! This is cool. It’s pine needles!!! They look like little tiny explosions of spiders or green fireworks! Or something hairy! Or—I’ll shut up now.
On the outside, these look like three blue holes in the wall. But on the inside—they’re three blue holes in the wall. I accidentally had my stupid camera on the wrong metering mode (don’t even ask me what that is, ’cause I don’t know). That’s why this turned out so blurry, except for that perfect spot in the middle that kind of looks like bird poop. And what is the significance of these three blue holes in the wall? Wait for it, I’m getting to that. The significance is—
There is no significance.
Nice green leaves with a spare dead vine. At least it wasn’t poison-ivy. As if it even matters at this point.
I told dad about this one, and he thought it a fit time to wax poetic. “Even a dead tree has its consequences.”
Uh-huh. I’ll let you figure that one out.
Amidst all the dumbness, I give you BEAUTY! This is probably my favorite. Besides the poison-ivy.
You know you’re not a little kid anymore when you stalk a bee across the entire pasture, waiting for it to sit still long enough to get a decent shot of it. I still only got it’s rear end, but in the words of Mop, “When in doubt, a bumblebee’s rear end is better than nothing.”
Words of wisdom, Mop, words of wisdom.
Because I’m weird and obsessed with poison-ivy.
LOOK AT THAT. IT’S SO GREEN. Gah, its just like Narnia! Why does it hurt so much?! (Props if you get that reference. *Be quiet, Emma…*) Thank you, Maryland, for being my home.
Random blades of grass totally blocking my lens. And a photo-bombing dandelion in the upper left corner.
Well, there it is. My pathetic creative endeavor of the day. (Or yesterday.) Hopefully no one looked out the window, because they would have seen a sixteen year old girl chasing bumblebees around the yard. You may doubt it at this point, but I really am mature, really. My maturity just doesn’t manifest itself the usual ways.